he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
