dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
