I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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