Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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