Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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