seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
