I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
