Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
