Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
