she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just found a bag of teeth...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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