ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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