I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize