Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
cat food counts as protein by the way
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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