Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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