I puked a lego.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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