Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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