"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
