All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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