dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize