Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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