no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
