absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
