My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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