I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
