ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
