I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
