Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i may or may not be watching the land before time
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
