mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize