I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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