so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
