She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
