ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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