that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
