So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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