I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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