six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
