he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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