Plan B is the new Plan A
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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