Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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