I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Holy shit dude........stairs
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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