next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
