I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
How external is "for external use only"?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize