Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
