I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
