Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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