oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
