How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
