My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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