I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
