Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
