My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
