birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize