Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
