TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
