I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
