I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
