I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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