There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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