Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
