It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
