***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
im having a threesome with these popsicles
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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