Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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