It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
