Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
